A Chaotic Mind

One of my fav tracks....Album : Meteora...Feat : Linkin Park This song says a lot!!! I'm tired of being what you want me to be Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface I don't know what you're expecting of me Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes Every step that I take is another mistake to you I've become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do, Is be more like me and be less like you Can't you see that you're smothering me? Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control? Cause everything that you thought I would be Has fallen apart right in front of you Every step that I take is another mistake to you And every second I waste is more than I can take I've become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you And I know I may end up failing too Bu...

It's been a while since i m in gurgaon..d biggest n unpleasent change of my lyf..the only thing dat keeps me moving z that i can visit my home frequently..this z for d first time i m penning down of me being in gurgaon.. Lyf here z a lot diff..i wud say lyf here sucks big time 4 me..here i m into a fixed routine..the same getting up..see myself wid my wierd hairs in d morning..try n b a bit less weird..be in office..n those daily things..well my day alwayz starts wid a followup..followup 4 d time when my cab wud b there 2 pick me up..and almost ends up with followups wid d same cab to commute back to my room.. Lyf here is quite contrary from that of mumbai..one cannot b on streets at night coz of least amount of public transport.. Sometimes i feel you are a nobody if you don't own a private vehicle here..it's quite difficult to survive without key of it in ur pocket... I alwayz miss that essence n feel of mumbai..still i m a diehard optimistic..lyf z got something in st...

Two special M's for me...One is the season and other is one of the places i adore the most.. Just a week since monsson has really started in mumbai...but it has gone all guns blazing ...Usually it takes me 1:30 hrs to reach from office to my place using the company transport,but that day it took around 3.30 hrs for the same,courtesy Heavy rain and flooded mumbai.... Well one thing z very special about mumbai's monsoon,when it starts it goes on and on..don't know from where does this much water comes down!! And still at end of every monsoon we hear that there might be water shortage this year too... Mumbai monsoon will alwayz be so special for me coz thats the season in which i arrived in mumbai for the first time...it was wet everywhere...had heard a lot about mumbai...had a unique picture in my mind too.. But the day when i landed at the mumbai central railway station, the picture was ought to change coz of what i saw,water logged at places,narrow streets n roads a...

Saturday 19 June...we went to a suburban shopping mall in mumbai,for the same thing as always...Window shopping and to get out of the weekend sleep.... Don't know what happened but that place was so crowded...we had something to eat in the food court..but the very next thing required , a place to sit and have that stuff was nowhere ,the place was jampacked...it felt lyk dis planet is shrinking.Thats why this average no of people per sq km is increasing.....and to make the matters worse was India vs Pak ODI...people were there to have glimpse of that too... Had to search a lot but couldn't find a place to be on..so started having the food stuff standing at a corner...but all that turned to a pleasure when the match turned hot..bhajji hammerred Aameer for a six..and it was all india...we won that match b 3 wick's....the roar in the crowd was like anything else...That moment had thrill throguh my body..and as always i again felt PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN!!!!

Even i don't know when it would be .......the day when i'll be moving back from mumbai...but it's already started feeling that i am parting from something very important.Is it the fear of being in a new place or is it being away from mumbai and bunch of my swt frns... Lyf changes like anything.

Well since a few days the sun was burning like anything, moreover being in our flat was feeling being near to a furnace. But thing that excites me is how does he knew we r feeling hot. Oops sorry I am referring god here. He gave us the thing that is most exciting as per Mumbai… RAIN …And at that time when it was least expected. There is nothing better than walking in that drizzle; even a place like office seems okay coz of that. This rain makes us so crazy at times that we do think things to a crazier extent, like leaving office early. But we forget that the day we signed the offer letter for the company, we also signed a hidden agreement for not seeing the sunset throughout our life at least on the weekdays. But still these little things of lyf keep on going ;and we need to move on or I’d love to say Rock On!!!!

Well the line seems a bit weird...It seems weirder hearing all this crap from me. But truly I’d love you all reading this. Al l these are things that to n fro in my mind. One of my dearest frns once said “If one doesn’t thinks about you. Let it be and let it go”. I’ve been in phases of lyf.When I needed somebody to be there. But there it was somebody leaving. Left behind was loneliness and silence. I’d been into phases where I’d liked somebody talking to me. But that didn’t used to happen. I surely wanted to come over it. Leave it or as I said “just let it be and let it go”. But as it is truly said “The more you move away from something the more nearer it comes to you”. Felt a hell lot of times that I was a no one (thanks to my dear friends that made me feel contrary the same hell lot of times). Finally I truly came over it, though needed a lot of introspection for it but it was worth it. So all I want to say that many a times we don’t want to see frowned faces as I just saw a day back...